3 months in now

I no longer have a fuzzy memory of when his birthday is, the schools he has attended, his career, if his second name is spelt with 1 ‘l’ or 2 ‘ls’ and am aware of most of his likes and dislikes.

It is almost as if my brain has received a memo from my heart to let it know that remembering information about him is no longer a waste of brain space or my time.

And just as well, I suppose. Since I am inching closer to getting more comfortable with the knowledge that my next relationship and boyfriend is right around the corner without mentally torturing myself.

There is always space for dessert


“Is that milkshake for me? Did I not just tell you I am on a diet?”
“Well, you are gonna have to do that on your own time cos when you are on Nigel’o clock, you eat.”

I love watching him eat. I don’t think I know anyone else who eats with as much gusto as he does. His eyes rolls back, he shakes his head in wonderment at the explosion of flavours in his mouth, he breathes in through his nose and then lets out an audible mmmmmmmm. Then he repeats the entire process till he finishes his meal, sits backs and wears the happiest grin on his face. “That was good food, babe!”

And he approaches a plate of $1.20 popiah the same way he does a plate of $42 pasta.

And? And there is always space for dessert. Always.

‘All the women I have been’ & am going to be

I read an article over the weekend about how we are different people at different stages of our life and it really struck a chord with me.

I don’t know about you but I am guilty of always starting conversations or writing pieces about how different I used to be. And then after reading this article and realizing that I was not alone and it is a perfectly normal change to go through, I feel so much more comfortable embracing all of the different women I have been. Especially the ones I no longer recognize or sometimes cringe at having been.

1)Kissing used to be a fun and casual activity that happens “just because”. Now, kissing only happens when I really like your face and would like to see you more than 5 times.

2)I used to be the one who gathered everyone for lunch at the last, few places I worked at. I am terribly content eating lunch every single day out of my packed lunch box, in front of my computer now.

3)Spending as little time sleeping as possible and dancing till dawn every weekend used to be the only way to go. Curling up in bed at a reasonable time after a nice dinner/movie/drinks and a warm shower now is how I roll. Dancing, is in fact, now reserved for spontaneous nights out or special occasions or when I really need it – and I no longer really need it every weekend.

4)I always said yes to every single friend or acquaintance who wanted to meet regardless how tired I may be feeling. These days, I say no a lot more.

5)I used to see children as being the spawn of the devil and not want any…I still do see them as being spawn of the devil mind you, but I now want some of my own 5/6 years down the road. Yes, I want to be a mum.

There are so many more changes in myself I could list down for you and the scariest/most exciting part is I know that I am not quite done growing and still am on my way to becoming the person I am suppose to be.

I can’t wait to meet me when I am done growing up.

The heart learns to fear too fast

The heart learns to fear too fast, don’t ya think?

I literally feel like mine is all wrapped up in some sort of complex labyrinth of bubble wrap, steel wool and padded up all around for extra protection. And every time the pair of really nice, warm paws I have in my life right now tries to reach around me to attempt and break into the labyrinth, I am overwhelmed with the urge to clutch my bubblewrappedsteelwooledpadded heart tighter!

“Let me help me unwrap it!!” says Tigger, bouncing up and down!

Big hugs for you Tigger!

Which kind are you?

There are three kinds of chocolate cookies in this world.

The first is the kind that gets rock hard when refrigerated and only melts a little when left out. Such is its sturdy DNA. It is the kind you reach out for when you are having a horrendous day because the entire cookie is slathered in rich, thick, chocolate and it is so, so easy to pop one, mangle it up with your teeth, swallow the sticky, congealed mess and then pop 15 more.
Example:Marks and Spencers Chocolate Rings

The second is the kind that is just crumbly. Crumbly when refrigerated, crumbly when left out in the open. They come dotted with chocolate chips but because they aren’t as thick or chocogooey, your hand will forever be stuck in the cookie jar because you can’t get rid of the craving! These are also the kind you reach out for on a good day or when you feel like having a treat because the cookie disintegrating in your hand after you take your first bit will elicit laughter and happiness as compared to eating it on bad day. Trust me, a crumbly cookie on a bad day will just make you want to throw the crumbly pieces at the next person you see walking down the street.
Example: Pepperidge Farm Cookies

The third one are the average kind. The kind you mindlessly eat. The average ones that don’t make a good day seem celebratory or a bad day better. They just sort of exist and you eat them because…well, why not? No one has died from eating average chocolate cookies have they?
Example: Chips Ahoy

So, which one are you?

Monday’s Quote

You bet your fine ass I spent lunch hour rediscovering some of the quotes I have written up in my email drafts and decided to start posting them up. One,every Monday. Too ambitious for this cupcaked Arian? We’ll see, I guess!

There is a story behind this one. Maybe I will tell it to you someday, in 8 months to be exact. ;)


I am hooked on OITNB and as much as I would like to think I would make it in prison, here are 5 reasons why I most probably would not.

1) I look like this when I don’t wax my eyebrows.

2) I am not THAT fussy about food but I would appreciate sweet cups of milo, moist cakes, fragrant rice, bars of creamy chocolate, and succulent meat at meal times. Plus, I would miss my mama’s weekly nasi lemak and prawn or ikan bilis sambal :(

3) BOB!!! Bob is the name of my comforter and that fella has stood by me in good, bad and nasty times. Dude, I can’t go to prison without Bob, alright? In fact, when I went on my first virgin holiday of a month to the states, I seriously contemplated packing him along. I even think of bringing him along on staycations in Singapore.

Bob is an exemplary man and I love him.

4) I doubt I’d find a prison roomie who would rub my sore feet at night when I beg her to like I do to my sister now. Haha.

5) This is definitely my biggest point and one that clinches the deal for me – I need a minimum of 15 minutes to shower, I need to exfoliate every other day with organic body scrubs and I need my whole posse of Lancome products to help my skin.

Calamari Pizza

When I was younger, calamari was what I’d order to judge a restaurant by. It didn’t matter if I was having just beer or dessert or sitting down for a proper meal – calamari was always ordered as well and then I’d rate said restaurant on my cala-o-mari-meter in my head.

I have not changed – I still order calamari everywhere I go but of late, I have started wanting to try the pizza in every restaurant I visit too.

Aren’t pizza marvellous inventions? I mean it’s a piece of flat dough (fuck, yes, life is more beautiful when there are carbs in my mouth) topped with any damn ingredient I want. The options are as bountiful and limitless as my imagination and that makes me salivate.
So anyway, I was thinking of these two foods last night in bed and willing myself to not go into the kitchen and succumb to eating a chocolate biscuit or two (I am trying to lose weight again, don’t ask), when I had a brain attack!

Calamari pizza!!!!!!! Then of course I was too excited to sleep and had to google a recipe and I have a found a pretty decent one which I intend to try out soon.
Exciting times ahead eh.