Of Christmas Traditions

Every year since it was released in 2003, watching Love Actually became a solo Christmas tradition of mine.


Then I made the unfortunate choice of sharing it with an ex – boyfriend in December 2012 in the hopes of rekindling a long extinguished fire and it really left a bitter after taste in my mouth. So of course, watching it alone in my bed in December 2013 was such a fucking sob fest, hahaha.

I had been feeling apprehensive about watching it again this December, because nobody needs the memories of a broken, lonely heart right? But then, in an extremely timely fashion, I stumbled upon this Buzzfeed article and just reading it has put a great, big smile on my face.

So you know what?
I am going to continue with my solo Christmas tradition. It’s my tradition and the memories of 2012 seem so terribly distant now, anyway. :)

Love Actually, I’m coming for you tomorrow night. <3 <3 <3

P.S: My favourite scene.

Vacation and Results

So while on holiday in Bali, where, yes I did dream I had failed my Trinity UK Speech and Drama Examinations, I got a text to inform me that I had, on the contrary passed with a distinction.

I cried.
And yelled.
And drank moscato.
And jumped on Nigel.
And made what was probably a $6 phone call to my sister.

December is shaping up to be great and for a change, my radio silence here is not because life’s been bad. It’s because life’s been good and I have been busy with good things.

Quote of the Day

Only problem is pragmatism which we used to settle for if idealism couldn’t be achieved is now the target goal. And that is lousy.

This has been in my head all damn day. I am an idealist. I try very hard to be a pragmatist but I really walk around all day with dreams that I don’t even know will ever come true, much less talk to anyone about in fear of being told to be…practical. I have never liked pragmatism as much as I have adored idealism. I dread being told to be less of a romantic, a day dreamer, a believer. But I am slowly starting to be less afraid to explore them. I am slowly starting to change all of the textbook societal definitions that I have been fed my whole life without even being given the option of considering the alternative. I am slowly eradicating all of my fears. And I am certainly, replacing all of my pragmatism idols with idealistic dreamers who have made it known to the world that they, too, are very much worth every grain of their own flavour of salt.

Preach!

Question:What gives you the motivation to continue working for yourself?
Answer: The torture of ever having to work for someone else other than myself…. ever again

I sort of hit a dry wall with what I have been meaning to do. I mean, progress is slow and every time I question if I will be able to ever bring it to fruition, I force myself to schedule another interview/transcribe the ones I have already done. (With all the technology we have made available to us in this day and age, you would think someone would have already thought of a way to make transcribing less painful.)

Progress is slow. And I really need to remember that I am all the (free) and available resources and brains that I need – at the current moment. But like HL said – content is king and don’t worry with starting off with only the basics. The rest will follow.

I suppose it is, however, also good to have many moments of doubts because it is in these moments, that I get thrown inspiration and motivation. So I am grateful. For constantly doubting my own capabilities and constantly receiving affirmation.

Just another sleepless Sunday

2.15am and I am still wide awake, trying not to think about the what-ifs of my exams, dreading and anticipating the week that has already started, excited for my vacation to start, contemplating some hot Milo and feeling…tingly that I have only been in a relationship for…come, in about 11 days – 3 months and yet feel so sure and so unsure at the same time.

On an unrelated note altogether, I was once told that my ability to write long sentences, stringing different ideas together was what makes me a both a horrible and great writer.
Go figure.

Notice the difference

I was reading one of my favourite blogs for my daily dose of frivolous, fun, silly, colourful style tips and life tricks when I came across this post and immediately, the woman featured, Elaine Welteroth, Teen Vogue’s Beauty Director caught my eye.That smile, that awesome basic outfit and that hair!!

Anyhoo, got linked to her personal Instagram account and was rather happily voyeuring in her life, really admiring how she rocked her hair and all that pretty clothes when I spotted the 2nd picture.

Same picture as the one featured on Cupcakes and Cashmere BUT what a world of difference. Two life lessons I took away from this:

1) Big respect to Elaine Welteroth and some of the real women left out there for posting non-photoshopped versions of their pictures on Instagram.
2) Imagine the amount of Photoshop actual celebrities and supermodels out there go through before they are served to us on a silver platter and have us stupidly starve ourselves and buy all the beauty products there is out there to try and achieve what they DO NOT look like.

Ogre

I woke up today, feeling like an Ogre. I mean I just glanced at my reflection in the toilet and my hair is a mess, I have one giant zit which I strongly believe is housing all of my ansty emotions – hence its size, my pants doesn’t feel like it fits me properly – they never do and tbh, I hate wearing pants and can’t wait to stop wearing them and…today is basically the kind of day I would have very much opted to hide from, at home had I been able to. I can’t wait for tomorrow! I hope I wake up feeling a tad bit prettier.

And as an afterthought, why do I associate feeling pretty to having a good day?

On having kids

Christina, 38, NYC, in a relationship
“I didn’t want to end up like my mom.”

I didn’t have the happiest childhood with two parents who loved and respected each other, so the idea of having a husband and children was never one of my life goals. The women who fascinated me the most were the ones who never married and never had kids and got to travel everywhere and live life on their own terms. My mother said repeatedly that she ruined her life by getting married and having a child (thanks, Mom!).

As a single person, my mother worked for Pan Am and loved it. But then she got married and moved across the country. And my dad wasn’t exactly Husband Of The Year. So all of a sudden she’s stuck with an alcoholic philandering husband and a kid in the California suburbs. She would have been so much happier as a single career woman, versus a stay-at-home mom in the ’burbs.

If I’d grown up in a family where being married was the best thing that ever happened to them and having a child was the second best thing, I might feel differently. But I don’t know…I always knew I didn’t want to end up like my mom. The whole image of having a husband and a kid isn’t always rosy.

The women I looked up to were the ones who didn’t have to do the family thing. They were so well-traveled and glamorous. And they seemed happy even if other people looked down on them. People in my family would say, “Oh, there’s Aunt Connie, she’s the spinster.” But she seemed perfectly happy to me!

********
Via A Cup Of Jo

I got u

Ask me what I did with my life
I spent it with you
If I lose my fame and fortune
Really don’t matter
As long as I got you, baby

Clap your hands y’all it’s alright
As long as I got you, baby

(The kind of music video that makes me sigh endlessly on endless days like today.)